Early Labor and NICU life

Ok, so the first day I decided to blog, I didn't think it would be the last day of my pregnancy. Yep, that's right... at 31 weeks I gave birth- that's why I haven't blogged in a while. I had an emergency c-section because the placenta was pulling away from my uterus and I began to hemmorage and go into labor- FUN STUFF. Not really, the whole thing was quite scary and it just so happens that the thing I did not want to get (the c-section) was the thing that I had to get. If the baby was laying in a position that allowed me to give birth naturally, then I would have, but the baby was transverse (laying across my belly) so they had to cut him out of me.

I must admit that that night everything was so surreal. By the time the Dr came in, got the low down on what was going on with me and the baby, and then decided we had to get the baby out because of his heart rate going down, I was already out of it. I don't know if it was lack of sleep, shock or if my mommy mode set in, but all I know is that I wanted to hear that baby cry and get out of me safely.

Everything happens so fast... they wheel you in, give you the epidural which kicks in pretty fast, cut you open, pull out the kid and sew you back up before you even realize that you are in the recovery room. I had even told my boyfriend that I don't remember getting from the OR to recovery then up to my room... all I remember is that I was a miserable mess that couldn't walk down to see my baby. That's all I wanted to do but I wasn't allowed till I was able to stand up.

Six PM I was allowed to see the baby which wouldn't have been so bad if I gave birth later than 4:13 AM. I spent all day crying because everyone that came to visit would get to see him and come back and say "oh he's so beautiful... you should see him". That was what made me so miserable. It did make me feel better to know that I was the first person besides the Dr and nurses to hold him for the first two days. He is the most beautiful baby I have ever laid eyes on, and still... after 20+ days I get teary eyed when looking at him because I can not believe that something to small and perfectly complete came out of me. At 2 pounds 11.4 ounces my little boy stole my heart and I fell in love. It's that mommy love... that's all I can say about it.

Since my discharge date, I have been in the hospital every day for several hours spending time with my baby. I have seen him smile and cry, have seen him move from a c-pap, to a high then to a low nasal cannula and now to just breathing room air. He has been gaining weight and is almost up to four pounds and is trying to keep up his own body temperature. All he has to do is master bottle feeding and then he will be out of the NICU!!

So far, the birth of my son has been an adventure. It started out crazy and has been going back to normal as the days go on. I can't wait to have him home with me- then I will really feel like a mom. It's hard to leave him at the hospital every night but I know that he is just too little to come home. When he is big enough, he will be home with me and we won't be restricted by any wires, tubes and monitors. I will be able to walk around and hold him and won't have to worry about him trying to pull out his feeding tube if it's not there anymore. I really can 't wait for that day. Until then, I have to keep visiting the NICU hoping the Dr finds him well enough to go home!

Thanks for reading!

-J