The more time I spend at home, the more I worry about myself financially. I told my job that I would be taking a full 12 weeks for maternity leave- it includes my family leave time as well and that should be returning to work sometime in the beginning of September. As time goes by I wonder how i am going to take care of my baby and work. My boyfriend and I had discussed different options, haven't decided on anything yet, but I do feel like I need to go back- like my job needs me. I am not quite sure why I feel that way but I do. I know I have a beautiful little baby here with me who depends on me for everything. He is a full time job... just without the money and the insurance. I am so torn about going back to work. I know my mom would take care of him for a day a week and that my grandmother had even offered to care for if I needed to go back to work. I could call the girl in charge of scheduling at my job and ask if I would work part time, maybe 2 days a week. It is an option, but I just hate to worry about my future. I think I need to win the lottery... that would do it!
My other concern is if I can not get anyone to watch the baby while I am at work, what day care (gasp!) can I put my son in. I really don't like day cares... they are breeding grounds for germs with all the kids running around. I am not saying they are all bad... it is just my personal opinion that I do not care for them and really would not like my son to be put into one. I know that there is a minimum age that a child has to be to be enrolled in a day care and also has to have certain vaccines. I still have yet to speak to the pediatrician about vaccines... the last visit he said the baby was too small to have the vaccines- he's not supposed to be here yet!
So as the days and nights go on, I am faced with this dilemma. What do I do? Or, i guess I could just say that about life in general right now... There is no hand book on how to go through like with a newborn... you just kind of wing it and take as much advice from as many people as you can! That is all I can do right now... and if people offer their help, take it! That is why I have been so appreciative of my mom coming over. She always brings some food that she knows I like (it is hard when you can't go out food shopping, especially when the baby can not go near crowds) and always takes the baby so I can relax a little. She really does help me.
Well, the baby is waking up now.... it must be that time again... feeding time!
Till next time,
-J
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