Preemie care - the first few days

Thursday July 30th was the day we were able to bring our little guy home. I will not lie - it is hard taking care of a baby and with lack of sleep it makes things harder. The first day he was home we had so many people here that it was very hard to get into a routine with the baby and for the next two days the baby was not right either. His feeding schedule was off as well as his sleeping schedule. Too many hands grabbing him and too many people kissing him. He made it very difficult that night for us, but I think we should have limited the amount of people who came over. I am not saying it wasn't nice seeing everyone- it was, but it was too much for our little 4 lb 11 oz baby.

After the first night, my boyfriend and I looked at each other and were so happy that we all survived. Things that were going through my head that night included things like 'is he breathing?', 'how is his temperature?' and 'did i feed him enough?'. I was also very hot here so we had the A/C on that night and I was afraid that he would be too cold. We also had to keep music on for him to go to sleep- the NICU was very noisy all the time with alarms chiming and nurses talking constantly. I think we are doing well trying to make it comfortable for him.

While making it comfortable for our little one, I have realized that being woken up every few hours really takes a toll on your body. We both have noticed dark circles under our eyes and our skin is also different from how it was before baby came. It is just exhausting taking care of a newborn, physically and mentally.

Since he came home I have noticed that he has been really comfortable with all the attention he has been getting. I have been holding him a lot... partially because when I was at the hospital with him, I was only allowed to hold him for a certain amount of time until the nurses told me to put him back. He cries and I pick him up. He looks at me and I pick him up. He sleeps and I pick him up... all I want to do is hold him and kiss him and now he has gotten so used to me being there that when he cries and I come in, he stops crying because he knows I will pick him up. If I have him laying on his boppy I just have to hold his hand and he is calm and quiet.

I have noticed that he only cries when there is a need... like if he is too gassy or if he is hungry. Other than that he is quiet. I feel like I can sit there and hold him for hours just staring at him. Actually, just holding him is so relaxing for me that it is so easy to fall asleep with him in my arms. I know it is not good to do, but it happens. I am sure other people have fallen asleep holding their babies too.

I also found that it is more and more difficult to keep in touch with anyone from the outside world. I know there is email, this blog and my cell phone, but I can't always make or take a call and I feel bad. I am in the apartment all day and night and I feel like I am neglecting the baby if I do decide to make a call or write a quick email. I don't like that feeling, but I know it is not good to shut everyone and everything out either. I need to keep in touch with family and friends to stay sane. The only reason I don't feel bad writing this right now is because the baby is asleep in his daddy's arms watching the baseball game...bonding.

On that note, I must get the bottle ready for his next feeding and prepare myself to pump. If there is anyone with suggestions on anything I have written, please post a comment.... I do like hearing from other people who have been in similar situations as I am in.

-J